"Brother! Can we have mac and cheese? You need to learn to cook mac and cheese
or anything that people usually eat
"I can too cook!" Jiro snapped. "Crow says I am good at it!"
Kotaro looked at his brother skeptically, "He's just being nice to you. He didn't want to hurt your feelings"
Jiro huffed softy and crossed his arms across his chest. "Crow is a fellow warrior. He would never lie to me."
"If you say so, brother
but YAY MAC AND CHEESE!!" Kotaro then started to laugh and run circles around the small apartment they shared.
Jiro just sighed, and stared fondly at the hyper little boy, who had started babbling about all the things that he liked other than the cheesy pasta.
"-Well, I like butterflies, and pandas, and candy, and crayons, and fluffy pillows, and the color blue. Oh, and red 'cause you like red and I like things you like!"
Jiro chuckled lightly as he put a pot of water on the stovetop to boil. "Alright, Kotaro"
"Oh, except girls... They have cooties" Kotaro said, scrunching up his nose in a childish manner.
Jiro laughed at that. "Who said I like girls? I just like virgins" he joked, smiling to show his long, pointed eye teeth.
"Oh! Ok, brother!" the blonde boy replied cheerfully. Then his face took on a look of confusion. "
Hey, brother, what's a virgin?"
Jiro's smile disappeared and he froze where he stood. He certainly had not expected that question. "...well...."
Kotaro looked up at him with bright, expectant eyes. "Yes?"
Jiro sighed, turning away from Kotaro and running a hand through his long, black hair. "
just give me a moment to collect my thoughts..."
Kotaro quickly ran around to be face to face his brother again. "Hey, why is your face all red? OH NO! ARE YOU SICK? OH MY GOD, BROTHER'S SICK! WHAT DO I DO?! WHAT DO I DO?!?!"
Jiro stopped Kotaro's panicked flailing by putting his hands firmly on the other's shoulders. "I'm fine, Kotaro."
Kotaro stopped panicking, and his usual smile was returned to his youthful face. "Good!" Then the smile faded slightly. "Hey, brother so why won't you tell me what that word means?" Kotaro's lower lip started to quiver slightly, and his eyes started to water slightly with the warning signs of tears.
"Ok, Kotaro. I'll tell you what it means" Jiro walked over to the nearby bookshelf, pulled the large dictionary off the shelf, flipped to the right page and began to read.
"virgin [ˈvɜːdʒɪn] n.
1. a person, esp a woman, who has never had sexual intercourse
2. (Christianity / Ecclesiastical Terms) an unmarried woman who has taken a religious vow of chastity in order to dedicate herself totally to God
3. (Life Sciences & Allied Applications / Zoology) any female animal that has never mated
4. (Life Sciences & Allied Applications / Zoology) a female insect that produces offspring by parthenogenesis
5. a person who is new to or inexperienced in a specified field a political virgin
adj (usually prenominal)
1. of, relating to, resembling, suitable for, or characteristic of a virgin or virgins; chaste
2. pure and natural, uncorrupted, unsullied, or untouched virgin purity
3. not yet cultivated, explored, exploited, etc., by man virgin territories
4. being the first or happening for the first time
5. (Chemistry / Elements & Compounds) (of vegetable oils) obtained directly by the first pressing of fruits, leaves, or seeds of plants without applying heat
6. (Engineering / Metallurgy) (of a metal) made from an ore rather than from scrap
7. occurring naturally in a pure and uncombined form virgin silver
8. (Physics / Atomic Physics) Physics (of a neutron) not having experienced a collision"
Kotaro smiled up at his brother. "Thanks, big brother! You're so smart"
Jiro rolled his eyes slightly as he put down the dictionary and turned to stir the pasta on the stove. "I know
Kotaro's brow furrowed slightly in confusion. "Hey, brother, what's
sexual...how do u say that..intercouurrrrsee? That's a big word!"
Jiro just gave in to the small boy: it was useless to try to resist him now. "Alright, Kotaro, I'll tell you. Sit down please" he said, gesturing to the small couch in front of him.
"Kay!" Kotaro replied, jumping up to settle himself on one of the cushions.
Jiro took a deep breath. "A virgin is one who has not experienced sexual intercourse. That is the phenomenon that creates babies in most species of mammals. The male puts a magical fluid inside the female, and this causes her to become pregnant with a baby, which is then born months later." Jiro then chanced to look over at his brother to see how he would process this information.
Kotaro's bright blue eyes lit up before him. "Oh, wow! Magical fluid! That sounds so awesome!"
Jiro cringed slightly, and turned to mix the cheese into the pot of pasta. "It is
now how about that mac and cheese
If possible, Kotaro brightened even more. "Oh yeah! Mac and cheese! I LOVE MAC AND CHEESE! Is it ready yet, brother??"
"Yes it is" Jiro replied, his usual gentle smile returning to his face. Thank god Kotaro is so easily distracted
he thought to himself as he handed the smaller vampire a bowl of the cheesy pasta.
"Hooray!" Kotaro cheered as he sat at the nearby table and began to happily eat his food. "You should have some too, brother! It's really good!"
Jiro chuckled lightly before scooping some of the pasta for himself and seating himself across from his brother at the table.
Kotaro may as well have inhaled his pasta judging by how fast it disappeared from his bowl. In only a matter of minutes, it was empty.
"Brother, I'm done! Can I have a milkshake now?!" he asked, eyes lighting up with hope.
Jiro held up a hand to stop Kotaro before he went further. "Hold on Kotaro. You don't want to get a stomach ache from eating too much too fast. Just sit still for a moment and digest while watching some television or something, while I make you the milkshake"
"OK! WHILE I'M WAITING I CAN SING A SONG! HEY I THINK THERE'S A SONG ABOUT MILKSHAKES, ISN'T THERE? I DONT REALLY GET IT BUT IT TALKS ABOUT MILKSHAKES SO IT MUST BE GOOD! ...uummm...how does it go... OH YEAH! 'MY MILKSAKE BRINGS ALL THE BOYS TO THE YARD'"
Jiro froze where he stood in the kitchen. He stared dumbfounded at Kotaro as the small boy continued to sing.
"'AND THEIR LIKE IT'S BETTER THAN YOURS! DAMN RIGHT! SOMETHING SOMETHING!' yah!"
Jiro was finally shaken from his momentary shock. "KOTARO!" he snapped at his brother, "DON"T use that kind of language!! And how do you even know that song?" Before Kotaro had a chance to respond, Jiro held up a hand and stopped him, setting down the frozen drink on the table. "Never mind, I don't want to know. Just quit singing and eat your milkshake
"BUT, BROTHER! YOU SAY THAT WORD ALL THE TIME!!" Kotaro complained, but his attention quickly shifted to other things when he suddenly took a sip of his milkshake and exclaimed, "AHHHH!! BRAIN FREEZE!!!!"
Jiro started to gently massage his temples with his gloved fingertips, and let out an exasperated sigh, which he noticed he had done a lot in the past hour or so. "Put your thumb to the top of your mouth Kotaro. That stops it from hurting"
Kotaro did as his brother instructed. "Whoa! It's like Magic!! YOU'RE SO COOL, BROTHER! YOU KNOW EVERYTHING!!"
Jiro smiled softly. "Yes, I know"
Kotaro's attention shifted yet again when he glanced back at the forgotten television. "HEY TOM AND JERRY ARE ON TV" I LOVE THEM! THEY'RE FUN!"
"Alright, Kotaro. You can watch it until 9 or until you fall asleep" Jiro directed, simply happy that something else had become the focus of Kotaro's high energy at the moment, because it was starting to give him a headache. "Maybe, once Kotaro is asleep I'll go to see Zelman for a Coke
" he muttered to himself.
Unfortunately, he did not speak quietly enough because Kotaro heard and whipped around towards him. "ZELMAN! CAN I COME TOO BROTHER! ZELMAN IS SO COOL AND GIVES ME SODA AND COOKIES AND RAMEN! AND HE'S SO PRETTY TOO!"
Jiro finally gave up and, using the ever convenient power of hypnotic-suggestion, caused Kotaro to slump over on the couch and fall into a deep sleep.
---later at Zelman's---
"You have NO IDEA what it was like!" Jiro bemoaned into the finish of Zelman's coffee table. "He asked me what a VIRGIN was! He doesn't even know how to brush his own teeth yet!!!"
The red-haired vampire across from started laughing and, after a moment, stopped and looked to Jiro with his signature smirk "You should have just had him watch some porn. It's quick and easy and if would have saved you talking to him about it"
Jiro could only stare at Zelman for a moment before he resumed banging his head on the wooden table before him.